#blanket

A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a brick may be dumb, but at least it isn’t dumb and interfering in its absence. By not being a part of my life, my dad became a big part of my life, because my thoughts were influenced by his image and infused with fantasy as I attempted to alter the reality that he wanted little to do with me. And what else would you call not wanting to be a part of your son’s life but dumb? So this Father’s Day, I’m drinking to the dad I never had—a brick. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to build a color theory that red objects encapsulate rage. Don’t believe me? Think of all the red objects that inspire hate: stop lights, Nazi swastikas, and tomato juice.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to aid the lonely. Carry it with you, converse with it, and if you drink enough, you can even make love to it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark. ↗

— Mary Stewart

#dark #drew #i #like #me

If I had a comfort blanket, I wouldn't have been as passionate and driven. ↗

— Rob James-Collier

#blanket #comfort #driven #had #i

A brick could be used as the Cube of Love. But I'd use it sparingly, or risk heart attack.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-uses #divergence-test #funny #humor #love

A brick could be used as a Love Detector. Yes, it's true! Find the love of your life today. Don't hesitate! To find out how, please mail a check or money order to:
 Jarod Kintz
 12321 Gullible Dr.
 Jacksonville, Fl 32202
 (Actual brick not included.) ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-test #divergence-test #funny #humor #love

A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or any crowded location, place the brick on your head, and stand perfectly still until they open up lines of communication. If you talk to Egbok Wangor, tell him I want the twenty bucks he owes me—and I’ll even give you a twenty percent collector’s fee.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A jet may be perfect for breaking the speed of sound, but a brick is designed to break the speed of silence. Just listen to that quietness.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #design

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange