#blood

The humans were sitting cross-legged on the floor in a circle of soldiers, pointing at things and learning more Chimaera words: salt, rat, eat, which unfortunate combination led to Zuzana rejecting the meat on her plate. "I think it's chicken," Mik said, taking a bite. "I'm just saying there were a lot more rats around here earlier." "Circumstantial evidence." Mik took another bite and said, in passable Chimaera and to guffaws of laughter, "Salty delicious rat." "It's chicken," insisted one of the Shadows That Live. Karou wasn't sure which it was, but she was flapping her arms like wings, and even producing chicken bones to prove it. ↗

— Laini Taylor

#days-of-blood-and-starlight #humor #laini-taylor #mik #zuzana

The pants come down. Most look shamefaced, but tha Arthur McBride is not the least bit shy about showing off his equipment, oh no, he isn't. He grins in my direction. 'Not all that impressive, boyo ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#humor #humor

The want for that kiss had shocked him more than the interruption, and he fell back into the chair, cool and nonchalant as Quen came in with his questions and demands. He wasn't sure if he believed he'd really helped, but one thing was very clear. He wanted that again, that feeling of standing with her against all odds and succeeding. He wanted it so bad, he was going to risk destroying everything he and his father had worked for. He should walk away. Right now. But as she was ushered out the door under David's arm, all he wanted to do was follow her. What the hell was he doing, falling in love with a demon? ↗

— Kim Harrison

#demons #elves #kim-harrison #love #rachel-morgan

Why do I always have to remind you to look to where the danger waits, Warrior. Sheesh, what would you do without me? “Uh, not be a murderous psycho?” Very funny. ↗

— H.D. Gordon

#alexa-montgomery-saga #blood-warrior #monster #remption #funny

Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I’ll beat your head in with my flashlight. ↗

— Shannon K. Butcher

#book- #funny

Where have you been?" I asked weakly. A few minutes ago I would have rather died than questioned him. Let him know I care. But I'm too sick to be strong, kick ass Rayne at the moment. "Vegas" he says. I raise an eyebrows. "Uh, okay. Win anything?" I can't believe he was off gambling as I lay dying. I mean, I know poker is hot and all, but couldn't he have waited a couple of days for that straight flush? "I got what I went for, if that's what you mean." "What, a lap dance?" He chuckes. "Even sick, you're still funny, Rayne. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#dying #jareth #rayne #vegas #funny

Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days. unfortunately, it wasn't with me. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#bloodlines #humor #richelle-mead #sydney-sage #sydrian

Hey, our hair's the same color," I said, eying us side by side in the mirror. "Sure is, girlfriend." Eric grinned at me. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #romance #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

You will not! It's wrong." "What, kissing you, or kissing you in Pies and Stuff? ↗

— Richelle Mead

#bloodlines #kiss #love #richelle-mead #sydney

It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #humor