#boo

It's not just the cheerleading thing I have a problem with, it's the whole jock enchilada. I'm all for a good game of basketball in teh driveway or a killer bike ride. But when there's tackling and grunting involved-- no thanks. ↗

— Linda Ellerbee

#jocks #kid-s-books #funny

They had to swing by Jared’s locker so he could grab his jacket. “A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?” “Nah,” said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.” “That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?” “I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.” “It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

Dear Literary World, Sorry for breaking down your door...I'll pay for that!!! Since I'm here and planning to stay a while, let me tell you some stories!! ↗

— C.K. Webb

#ck-webb #funny #humor #literature #stories

I prefer to have people read books for me and then summarize them in a few sentences. It’s the same as if I had read them myself, except it takes longer. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #reading #summarizing #funny

JESSICA: When did you last go to London? HUGH: When I read a Dickens novel. That was when I resolved never to travel there. ↗

— Bauvard

#britain #dickens #funny #humor #london

I don't know where people got the idea that characters in books are supposed to be likable. Books are not in the business of creating merely likeable characters with whom you can have some simple identification with. Books are in the business of creating great stories that make you're brain go ahhbdgbdmerhbergurhbudgerbudbaaarr. ↗

— John Green

#characters #humor #business

But when we moved to the country, miles from the nearest restaurant, his hints anent his favorite dies grew so insistent that it became a question of tripe or divorce, and for a short time it was a difficult decision. ↗

— Margaret Yardley Potter

#marriage #tripe #home

I dinnae get people, like they all want to be watched, to be seen, like all the time. They put up their pictures online and let people they dinnae like look at them! And people they’ve never met as well, and they all pretend tae be shinier than they are – and some are even posting on like four sites; their bosses are watching them at work, the cameras watch them on the bus, and on the train, and in Boots, and even outside the chip shop. Then even at home – they’re going online to look and see who they can watch, and to check who’s watching them! ↗

— Jenni Fagan

#humorous #internet #online #social-media #watching

While observing some people with their dogs, it is often a question of who is training whom. It is not uncommon to see an owner with their arms extended, holding on for dear life, while their dog runs wild. Unfortunately, I was becoming one of those owners.-from Finally Home: Lessons on Life from a Free Spirited Dog on Amazon.com ↗

— Elizabeth Parker

#dog-rescue #home

Some may call you crazy if you try to reason with a dog. It is with desperate attempts that you hope they understand you. When the realization sinks in that your futile pleading goes without understanding or care, you are left with no choice but to think of the next best thing. From Finally Home: Lessons on Life from a Free-Spirited Dog ↗

— Elizabeth Parker

#dog-lovers #dog-rescue #home