#bs

The government decides to try to increase the middle class by subsidizing things that middle class people have: If middle-class people go to college and own homes, then surely if more people go to college and own homes, we’ll have more middle-class people. But homeownership and college aren’t causes of middle-class status, they’re markers for possessing the kinds of traits — self-discipline, the ability to defer gratification, etc. — that let you enter, and stay, in the middle class. Subsidizing the markers doesn’t produce the traits; if anything, it undermines them. ↗

— Glenn Reynolds

#subsidies #home

They say it is a wide road that leads to war and only a narrow path that leads home again. ↗

— Bob Massie

#proverbs #war #home

To maximize love, I try to emulate an omelet. And I’m not just saying that to sound romantic. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Flying is simple. Hitting the ground is hard ↗

— Josh Stern

#flyinf #ground #hard #humor #simple

EVERYTHING NOT FORBIDDEN IS COMPULSORY ↗

— T.H. White

#government #humor #totalitarianism #humor

I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #breakfast #eaten #funny #grinning

Whatsoever is contrary to nature is contrary to reason, and whatsoever is contrary to reason is absurd. ↗

— Baruch Spinoza

#contrary #nature #reason #whatsoever

normal person's weekly chore list: 1. clean kitchen. 2. clean bathroom. 3. clean entire rest of domicile. cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. don't get peanut butter on sheets. ↗

— Dave Barry

#cleaning #humor #slobs #humor

I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes. "I could kiss you!" Chubs cried. "Please don't!" I gasp out, feeling his arms tighten around my ribs to the point of cracking them. ↗

— Alexandra Bracken

#friendship #humor #ruby #friendship

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about). ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#humor #observational-comedy #observations #humor