#cal

My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expansive #expensive #funny #humor #life

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath. ↗

— Jacob M. Braude

#composure #humor #humor

Miss Edmonton: I don't even know where to start. It's too horrifying to even speak of. Jenny: Nonsense. Let's start with the basics. What did your aunt tell you? Miss Edmonton: My aunt said that my husband will come into my room and pull my skirt up. And then he'll put himself inside of me. She said it hurts. She suggested I hold my tongue and pretend I am somewhere else until he is done. Jenny: Yes. I should think it would hurt if you did it that way. Good heavens. ↗

— Courtney Milan

#humor #sex-ed #humor

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is. ↗

— B.J. Neblett

#irony #laughter #sarcasm #satirical #humor

Dagmar tried to stand, and Gwenvael caught her hand, pulling her back down. "You can't leave me. I'm tortured and brooding. You need to show me how much you adore me so I can learn to love myself again." "You've never stopped loving yourself." "Because I'm amazing. ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#egotistical #humor #self-love #humor

Sometimes I think together we are the worst kind of calamity." Thayer grinned back. Severine's lips burned. "Then I've never wanted to be destroyed so bad. ↗

— Calia Read

#every-which-way #love #relationships #severine #sloan-brothers

He'd learned the hard way that there was no future when all he could see was revenge. The only thing revenge had ever given him was a brief moment of satisfaction, followed by an empty abyss. He was through with revenge. He wanted to feel full instead of empty, loved, instead of feared. ↗

— C.J. Roberts

#love

A king of a kingdom no one fucking knows about! I'm the tree in the forest that silently falls--when no one is around to be crushed! [Lothaire, Enemy of Old] ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humor #philosophical-musings #humor

And when I heard her turn away, love made me beg. ↗

— C. J. Roberts Epilogue

#dark-duet #livvie #love