#car

A forty-foot worm?" Will muttered to Jem as they moved through the Italian garden, their boots-thanks to a pair of soundless runes-making no noise on the gravel. "Think of the size of the fish we could catch." Jem's lips twitched. "It's not funny, you know." "It is a bit." "You cannot reduce the situation to worm jokes, Will. This is Gabriel and Gideon's father we're discussing." "We're not just discussing him; we're chasing him through an ornamental sculpture garden because he's turned into a worm." "A demonic worm," said Jem, pausing to peer cautiously around a hedgerow. "A great serpent. Would that help your inapropriate humor?" "There was a time where my inapropriate humor brought you a certain amusement," sighed Will. "How the worm has turned." "Will- ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jem-carstairs #will-herondale #funny

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#cartoons #humor #preaching #shallow #shallowness

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face. ↗

— Jeremy Clarkson

#humor #humor

Well, if the excitement's over, I think I'll take a bath.' 'Wow. The harsh lifestyle of a succubus. I wish I had your job.' 'Hey, our side's always recruiting. You might need to be a little prettier to be an incubus, though. And a little more charming.' 'Untrue. Mortal women go for jerks. I see it all the time.' 'Touché. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#chp #humor

How wonderful," he purred. "I've been longing to speak to you for days, Princess Cecelia." "And I've been wanting to kick you in the shin for days. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#kick #scary-comment-backfired #shin #humor

You've become my friend, and I love you." It was right and true and that made saying it easy. She heard the surprise in the intake of his breath. "And I, you, Helen. I think I've loved you since the moment you first stood on my doorstep." He paused. "But now, I really must insist that you sleep. My love will still be here when you wake up. ↗

— Michelle Zink

#griffin #griffin-and-helen #griffin-channing #helen #helen-cartwright

But, though I was very much in lust with him, I knew from the start we were nothing like "forever." Maybe because forever is such a scary place. ↗

— Ellen Hopkins

#love #lust #scary #love

What would you do if you weren't afraid? ↗

— Sheryl Sandberg

#career #inspirational #self-help #self-help-women #women

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

The best thing about being a cartoonist is to walk into a bar or someone's apartment and they don't know you, but they've taped one of your pieces up. ↗

— Ted Rall

#apartment #bar #being #best #cartoonist