#ch

Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth. He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again. "You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans. "I could always take them off." He smirks. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #christian #christian-grey #e-l-james

I'd rather live my life believing in God to die and see there is one. Because if there isn't one, it means there's no eternal life, therefore I will never know. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#funny #inspirational #life #religion #wisdom

The fewer moving parts, the better." "Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering. ↗

— Christian Cantrell

#funny #humor #mechanical #funny

A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight. ↗

— J. Michael Strazynski

#humor #j-michael-strazynski #story #writing #funny

Funny, he wasn't handsome, not in a Mr. Perfect kind of way, at least. The guy had a nose that had clearly been busted once or three times, and his hazel eyes were too shrewd and too exhausted to be classified as attractive. But he was like a cocked gun: He has a steely intelligence and a dangerous power about him that you respected. Because the combination was a flat-out killer, literally ↗

— J.R. Ward

#funny

Magic is a funny term,' she'd say. 'There is nothing supernatural about the earth. As long as you know what does what. ↗

— Suzanne Palmieri-Hayes

#nature #witchcraft #funny

Would you kick her ass already?" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad." I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent. Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad." Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry?" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy. ↗

— Molly Harper

#dog #fitz #funny #gabriel #jane-jameson

Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#eyes #funny #humor #mustache #mustaches

Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered. ↗

— Molly Harper

#dirty #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

If all of your friends are morons is it a felony, a misdemeanor or an act of God if you blow their fucking heads off with a thirty-eight magnum? ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#psycho #funny