#che

there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both. ↗

— Tina Fey

#dan-aykroyd #dana-carvey #darrell-hammond #humor #sarah-palin

I wish there existed philosophical delivery stations, where a person could call up and order an answer to such questions as, “Does life have meaning, and what’s the meaning of meaning?” Then a delivery guy with a thick German mustache would show up at your door within thirty minutes with an answer. And you could order a large two-topping answer for only 9.99, plus tip. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#german #humor #meaning #mustache #philosophy

She's a librarian, Sim said. They're not teachers; don't give you half as much hassle. If there's a fire in the school and I've got to choose who I'm gonna save - a teacher or a librarian - the teacher's gonna burn every time. (p. 24) ↗

— Keith Gray

#librarian #teacher #teens #humor

I have been to the speed of God, sir...and I discommend it. ↗

— John Ringo

#humor #micheal-o-neil #science-fiction #humor

Optimism: That effervescent, blindingly- bright, perky, chipper, twittering quality you want to squash out of annoying people. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#cheerfulness #humor #merriment #optimism #pleasantness

If you'd just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn't have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated 'I told you so's. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#listening #richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

When I blow my trumpet to signal the glorious new morning, my cheeks bulge like two scoops of vanilla. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #ice-cream #trumpets #funny

We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did—a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#god #karma #learning #parenthood #parents

Does it hurt now?" he asked, his tone rough and seductive. "No." She shook her head again and sighed, trying to pretend his touch didn't make her uncomfortably wet. He grinned. "So...what's with the heavy breathing? ↗

— Eden Summers

#humor #passion #humor

Змейк умел приближать свой предмет через непосредственное сравнение с учениками и проведение прямых параллелей. «А вы плавитесь при гораздо меньших температурах», — говорил он спокойно, и Афарви с Двинвен, болтавшие на задней парте, вздрагивали, перехватывали пронзительный взгляд черных глаз Змейка и начинали слушать очень внимательно. ↗

— Анна Коростелева

#humor #school #study #teacher #humor