#chi

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread. But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food. You want something a little more colourful, exciting, tastier, meatier and juicier. ↗

— R.S. Vern

#animated #cat-haee #cathaee #children-s-books #dark

I blew that clay pigeon to smithereens. I don't know why Mum got so upset. According to Uncle Andrew she's a crack shot herself. But she says I'm too young. What I'd like to know is how old does a person have to be before they get to do all the fun stuff? ↗

— R.L. LaFevers

#humor #supernatural #humor

Gerald's look assured her that he and the others would be as near angels as children could be without ceasing to be human. ↗

— E. Nesbit

#humor #phonies #humor

I'm married. And pregnant. ↗

— Edan Lepucki

#impromptu-humor #marriage #what-the-hell #humor

Because sometimes in life, Ken didn't always choose Barbie. (Jane Alcott) ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance-novels #see-jane-score #humor

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey." "Karl, we're not fourteen!" "Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey." (Karl & Elena) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal. ↗

— Tom Upton

#humor #psychiatry #young-adult #humor

If ever there was something she needed to stick around and fight for, Luc was that something. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #rachel-gibson #romance #see-jane-score #humor

My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves. ↗

— David Sedaris

#teaching #humor

Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#ethics #humor #vegetarian #vegetarianism #humor