#cho

And it's funny how when somebody saves you, the first thing you want to do is save other people. All other people. Everybody. The kid never knew the man's name. But he never forgot that smile. "Hero" isn't the first word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#save #saved #saving #funny

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you? ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#the-lucky-one #funny

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#books #boyfriend #choices #faith #family

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. ↗

— Johnny Carson

#entertainment #funny #hollywood #humor #insanity

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us. ↗

— Jim Benton

#funny #maniac #psycho #running #vampire

It so happens that I'm pro choice. ↗

— Arlen Specter

#happens #i #pro

If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate :) ↗

— Pablo

#funny #funny

Companionship is a foreign concept to some people. They fear it as much as the majority of people fear loneliness. ↗

— Criss Jami

#companion #companionship #different #extroversion #fear

That streetside tree is obscuring the air. Cut it down. Haul it in for questioning. There are secrets within that foliage. You might want to separate the branches in different rooms and apply some elementary game theory.” “Question a plant?” “Trees have a will too, just like people. We have to know it’s purpose. Read Schopenhauer.” “Schopenwho?” “He was the only authentic German. You might like him. Being a police officer, you’re undoubtedly familiar with the need to put an end to the lives of the perverse when sex crimes go too far. Now just generalize that necessity to every human being. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #schopenhauer #trees #will #funny

Tim and Raine are coming in." "Are they insane?" "Apparently. ↗

— Susan Bischoff

#chronicles #curfew #funny #heroes #susan