#chris

Christy: "My grandma made this. I've had it since elementary school." Todd: "I never knew that." Christy: "I never knew you left your towel on the floor." Todd: "Uh-oh. Is this one of those issues they talked about in our premarital counseling? Should I hang up towels so you feel more loved? ↗

— Robin Jones Gunn

#christy-miller #humor #todd #humor

What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for? ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#humor #jesus #humor

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell. ↗

— Augustine of Hippo

#humor #math #humor

On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde. "Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis—that's what it means to me." "Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores. ↗

— Milton Rokeach

#psychoanalysis #santa-claus #schizophrenics #through-the-looking-glass #business

We can but have Faith, for though we can not see beyond our own noses, God always knows what lay ahead. ↗

— Caleb Peiffer

#faith #religion #death

The devil is busy trying to take from us what we get from God, and so God bids us hold fast. ↗

— C. Nuzum

#business

Her (Mary's) Son first had to be the Child of the Father in order then to become man and be capable of taking up on his shoulders the burden of a guilty world. ↗

— Hans Urs von Balthasar

#catholicism #christ #christianity #eternal-child #god

Catholicism ... tries to grab all the poker chips on the table, kick everybody out of the game, and then pretend they were never there until the game was effectively over. It's just a ridiculous, obvious revisionist history. ↗

— Robert M. Price

#christianity #catholicism

It was a good thing Ridge was mighty fond of Tug or he’d probably have killed him by now. As it was, it had been touch and go for a little while that morning. But killing your lover on Christmas morning was so…so…heterosexual. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#funny

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it ↗

— Bill Hicks

#christians #comedy #creationism #creationists #funny