#ck

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon." Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#daemon #funny #funny

They call me, The Sharkalator ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #gazzy #maximum-ride #name-calling #nicknames

La cucaracha, La cucaracha, Ya no puede caminar, porque no tiene, porque le falta, I don't know the rest, la la la la! ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#carlos-fuentes #funny #perfect-chemistry #rules-of-attraction #simone-elkeles

One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #piggyback #piggyback-rides #funny

Meanwhile, politics is about getting a candidate in front of the public as a star, politics as rock'n'roll, politics as a movie. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#candidate #front #getting #meanwhile #movie

I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chicken #funny #family

That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.” Which one is me?” I asked. The little deformed one,” Zoe suggested. Oh, shut up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#gods #grover #percy-jackson #zoe #funny

Once we get into the groove, we're kind of like long-distance runners - that adrenalin kicks in for me and I just keep running - and I don't stop! ↗

— Keith Urban

#get #groove #i #into #just

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#endgame #funny #unhappiness-nothing #funny

He and the girl had almost nothing to say to each other. One thing he did say was, 'I ain't got any tattoo on my back.' 'What you got on it?' the girl said. 'My shirt,' Parker said. 'Haw.' 'Haw, haw,' the girl said politely. ↗

— Flannery O'Connor

#parkers-back #funny