#comp

I'm sure I look like a drowned cat." "You look fine. The wet look works for you." I scowled. "Now I know you're lying. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#daemon #funny #katy #funny

My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accompany #bizarre #funny #harmonica #humor

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dog #funny #humor #kitten #funny

Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#bad-company #bad-influence #evil #evil-people #evil-thoughts

You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#caves #computer #funny #old-fashioned #writer

[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] “When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don’t grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you’d concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs! ↗

— A.G. Starling

#contemporary-romance #funny #game #lizzie-bennet #love

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good? ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. ↗

— Edith Sitwell

#i #i wish #incompetent #pianos #put

It was an obsession, it was a compulsion. "The way to banish temptation is to give into it," the saying went. Maybe if she experienced a gangbang, it wouldn't be such a big deal, and would no longer be the focus of her sexual imagination. ↗

— Nikki Sex

#bdsm-sex #compulsion #menage #menage-romance #obsession

You can't judge people and touch their souls at the same time. ↗

— Tama Kieves

#connection #friends #judging #people #soul