#cs

The more you ignore me, the closer I get; you're wasting your time. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

You made me feel less alone; you made me feel not quite so deformed, uninformed and hunchbacked. ↗

— Morrissey

#life #love #lyrics #music #humor

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#politics #humor

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention." [Shrub Flubs His Dub, The Nation, June 18, 2001] ↗

— Molly Ivins

#george-w-bush #humor #politics #presidents #texas

...quantum mechanics—the physics of our world—requires that you hold such pedestrian complaints in abeyance. ↗

— Brian Greene

#physics #quantum-mechanics #science #humor

They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth. -Plato, philosopher (427-347 BCE) ↗

— Plato

#humanity #humor #life #politics #society

Over the last fifteen months we've traveled to every corner of the United States. I've now been to fifty-seven states. I think, one left to go. ↗

— Barack Obama

#politics #humor

Everyone is so cynical about the possibility of democracy today. But not me, I’m an idealist: democracy isn’t possible outside my own mind. According to my perceptions, this is a dictatorship. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#democracy #funny #humor #idealism #politics

I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for Congress. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #politics #humor

Of course, if 40% of women need oxytocin to progress normally, then something is wrong with the definition of normal. ↗

— Henci Goer

#doctor #humor #statistics #humor