#d

I mean, when the world comes for your children, with the knives out, it's your job to stand in the way. ↗

— Joe Hill

#parental-love #parenting #love

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gallows-humor #humor #laughing #death

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#argue #arguments #chores #cynicism #desire

Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #life #life

You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson #stalker #humor

Z: "You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck." Phury: "That was you?" Z:"You think it was Santa Claus or some shit? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #j-r-ward #phury #zsadist #humor

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humor #humor

Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me. ↗

— Zora Neale Hurston

#humor #self-assurance #self-worth #humor

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#government #humor #politics #public-opinion #humor

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm