#dani

Got your text,” he said when I climbed out. “How much did it hurt?” “Not at all,” I said. “Apparently, I can’t get a tattoo because I’m a witch.” “I could have told them-” He stopped. “Oh, you said witch.” “Ha-ha. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#maya #witches

I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. 'What's this?' 'A needle.' 'What should I do with it?' He'd walked right into it. Too easy. 'Please use it to pop your head. It's obscuring my view of the room.' - Kate & Saiman ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate-daniels #magic-strikes #saiman #shapeshifters #kate

The more excited I get, the more I vibrate." "Now there's a thought," Lor says. "If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again," Ryodan says. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #lor #ryodan #humor

Luce and Daniel fell in love for the first- and the last- time ↗

— Lauren Kate

#love

Peter to Austin: "Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ↗

— Dani Alexander

#gay #glbt #humor #insults #mm

Where is the bane of my existence?" "In the shower, freshening up." Damn it all to hell. "Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now?" "No, no, he's covered in blood." "Oh good." Wait a minute. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ascanio #kate-daniels #ilona-andrews

Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked. "Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it." Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall. The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman. He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate-daniels #humor

What’s this ” “A needle.” “What should I do with it ” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #saiman #humor

Dude. Post-apocalyptic world. Who does job applications anymore?” “I do.” I squint at it, then him. “What are you paying me?” I angle. “Dude. Post-apocalyptic world. Who does money anymore.” I snicker. First sign of any sense of humor he’s shown. Then I remember where I am and why. I wad it up and throw it at him. It bounces off his chest. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#ryodan #humor

I'd turn and run but I'm anchored by two dudes that could hold the Titanic during a tsunami. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor #humor