#davidson

Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been? ↗

— Darynda Jones

#uncle-bob #movies

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dream-guy #reyes #dreams

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dead-people #funny-humor #funny

For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#darynda-jones #funny #shoot-out #funny

A sheriff arrested me. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure my men-in-uniform fetish began that day. The sheriff was hot. And he handcuffed me. I've never been the same. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#men

Reality holds no reverence for romance, and no remorse for the weak. Those who enter hell need know why they are there. ↗

— Doug Barber

#harley-davidson #motorcycle #people #photography #photography

But, you're his son," I said, trying really hard to hate him. "You're the son of Satan. Literally." "And you are the stepdaughter of Denise Davidson." Wow. That was a bit harsh, but, "Okay, point taken. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#reyes #satan

You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#ethics #reyes-farrow #dating

My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#darynda-jones #davidson #first-grave-on-the-right #death