#davidson

You still owe me a million dollars." I'd presented him with a bill for proving his innocence and getting him freed from prison. He had yet to pay. Couldn't imagine why. "Yeah, I was hoping we could work that out." "The interest alone is going to kill you." "What do you charge?" "Three hundred eighty-seven percent." "Is that ethical?" "It's as ethical as my dating the son of Satan. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#ethics #reyes-farrow #dating

My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#darynda-jones #davidson #first-grave-on-the-right #death

Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long ↗

— Darynda Jones

#cookie #homour #home

My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor #humor

We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go to obedience school for that to happen. You have authority issues." "Never mind. We should have sex again and then date." "Since you put it that way, okay. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#obedience-school #reyes-farrow #dating

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dream-guy #reyes #dreams

A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#life

He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked. "You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#charley-davidson #garrett-swopes #life

But one sets of grandparents lived on Davidson Avenue in the Bronx and one lived in Manhattan and I had an aunt and uncle in Queens, so in my heart I was a New Yorker. ↗

— Jason Alexander

#avenue #bronx #davidson #grandparents #had

All the Disney lead male characters always have this kind of John Davidson kind of look to them. They all look like the same guy, and all the females look like the same, and I think the guys are just way too big. ↗

— Mike Judge

#big #characters #davidson #disney #females