#dresden

'Christ, Dresden! You almost got me killed!' 'Don't be a baby. You're fine.' Thomas frowned at me. 'You at least could have told me!' 'I did tell you,' I said. 'I told you at Mac's that I'd give you a ride home, but that I had to run an errand first.' Thomas scowled. 'An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo.' " - Harry Dresden & Thomas Raith, Blood Rites, Jim Butcher ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #magic #paranormal #wizards #christ

I like to stay cozy with my paranoia, not pass her around to my friends and family. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#paranoia #family

Sticks and stones and small caliber bullets may break my bones... Words will never, et cetera. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#dresdenish #humor #humor

Molly was arrested. Possession.” I blinked at him. “She was possessed? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#quote #dresden-files

Injun Joe studied the body for a moment, his eyes sad. Then he said, "I'd rather go in my sleep, I think." He glanced back at me. "What about you?" "I want to be stepped on by an elephant while having sex with identical triplet cheerleaders," I said. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#dresden-files #harry-dresden #death

Do you really think you can win?' 'Yeah. Hell, Ortega is only the third or fourth most disturbing thing I've tangled with today.' 'But even if you do win, what does it change?' 'Me getting kiilled now. That way, I get to be killed later tonight instead.' - Susan Rodriguez & Harry Dresden, Death Masks, Jim Butcher ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #magic #paranormal #wizards #change

I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #life #death

So we get a plan," I said. "Any suggestions?" "Blow up the building," Kincaid said without looking up. "That works good for vampires. Then soak what's left in gasoline. Set it on fire. Then blow it all up again." "For future reference, I was sort of hoping for a suggestion that didn't sound like it came from that Bolshevik Muppet with all the dynamite. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #vampires #humor

I’d had a key to the marina’s locks at one time, but I’d lost track of it when I got shot, drowned, died, got revived into a coma, haunted my friends for a while, and then woke up in Mab’s bed. (My life. Hell’s bells.) ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor