#elephants

She's in the Catskill," Shopie began, but Scathach reached over and pinched her hand. "Ouch!" I just wanted to distract you," Scathach explained. "Don't even think about Black Annis. There are some names that should never be spoken aloud." That like saying don't think of elephants, Josh said, "and then all you can think about is elephants." Then let me give you something else to think about," Scathach said softly. "There are two police officers in the window staring at us. Don't look," she added urgently. Too late. Josh turned to look and whatever crossed his face--shock, horror, guilt or fear--bought both officers racing into the cafe, one pulling his automatic from its holster, the other speaking urgently into his radio as he drew his baton. ↗

— Michael Scott

#elephants #funny #hilarious #shadow #funny

The whole new Democratic Party is the old Republican Party. We have a whole bunch of elephants running around in donkey's clothes. ↗

— Robert Novak

#bunch #clothes #democratic #democratic party #donkey

Age is terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back ↗

— Sara Gruen

#age

Elephants can sense danger. They're able to detect an approaching tsunami or earthquake before it hits. Unfortunately, Jack did not have this talent. The day his life was turned completely upside down, he was caught unaware. ↗

— Jennifer Richard Jacobson

#elephants #life

Well, the big elephant in the whole system is the baby boomer generation that marches through like a herd of elephants. And we begin to retire in 2008. ↗

— Lindsey Graham

#begin #big #boomer #elephant #elephants

It's hard for the donkeys to win the race if they're going to carry the elephants on their backs. ↗

— Jim Hightower

#carry #donkeys #elephants #going #hard

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. ↗

— Noel Coward

#elephant #elephants #fact #i #in fact

It's really bizarre because no one knows this, but elephants have killed more animal trainers than any other animal. ↗

— Vin Diesel

#any #because #bizarre #elephants #killed

Elephants are contagious. ↗

— Paul Eluard

#elephants

All right. Let's give you something to tell your grandkids about. Or great-grandkids. Or great-great-grandkids." I snort with glee, delirious with excitement. Charlie winks and pours me another finger's worth of whiskey. Then, on second thought, he tips the bottle again. I reach out and grab its neck. "Better not," I say. "Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip. ↗

— Sara Gruen

#water-for-elephants #humor