#er

Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their half-eaten bodies in the desert?” Adam was ticked. I could tell it even if he was looking like a reasonably calm businessman. Adam’s temper was the reason he wasn’t one of Bran’s werewolf poster boys. When angered, he often gave in to impulses he wouldn’t otherwise have given in to. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Adam told Kelly in silky tones. “But I prefer rabbits. Humans taste like pork.” And then he smiled. Kelly took an involuntary step backward. Tony gave Adam a sharp look. “Let’s not make things worse, if we can help it, gentlemen. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #tastes-like-chicken #tony

A forty-foot worm?" Will muttered to Jem as they moved through the Italian garden, their boots-thanks to a pair of soundless runes-making no noise on the gravel. "Think of the size of the fish we could catch." Jem's lips twitched. "It's not funny, you know." "It is a bit." "You cannot reduce the situation to worm jokes, Will. This is Gabriel and Gideon's father we're discussing." "We're not just discussing him; we're chasing him through an ornamental sculpture garden because he's turned into a worm." "A demonic worm," said Jem, pausing to peer cautiously around a hedgerow. "A great serpent. Would that help your inapropriate humor?" "There was a time where my inapropriate humor brought you a certain amusement," sighed Will. "How the worm has turned." "Will- ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jem-carstairs #will-herondale #funny

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. ↗

— David Daye

#humor #humor

Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed. ↗

— Stephen King

#lucky-quarter #humor

We split a bottle of Norman cider. Not everybody sells Norman cider by the bottle. "Has a European feel" Susan said. "That sounds terrific" I said. "Can I have one?" Susan grinned at me. "How did you ever get to be so big without growing up?" she said. "Iron self-control" I said. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #spenser #humor

This isn't sex." I blinked. "Oh. Then what is it?" "An emergency!" I started to argue and then thought twice about it. Considering what Mircea would do to Pritkin if he ever found out about this...Yeah. Emergency sounded good. ↗

— Karen Chance

#territorial #humor

Now then," he mused, "how does one fly a dragon? ↗

— Nicole Sager

#dragons #humor #nicole-sager #humor

Even more blood welled up and spilled down his arm, splattering onto the ground. “Camille’s carpet,” Magnus protested. “It’s blood,” said Will. “She ought to be thrilled. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#camille-belcourt #humor #magnus-bane #will-herondale #humor

People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur? “Ignore the fluffy,” she muttered. “Remember the part about big and scary. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor #werewolves #wolves #humor

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense