#ex

What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your kitchen. ↗

— Stephen King

#humorous #sex #men

I cross two fingers, a binary precaution against hex, effective as superconductor or simple superstition. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

If I were being honest with myself, he lit a blaze, not just a blush, but that’s too much reality for me to admit. ↗

— S.L. Scott

#romance #sexy #humor

There, I was just a secretary-shaped confederation of atoms, fighting the inevitability of mediocrity and decay. But here, in the Juliaverse... energy was never lost, merely converted from one form to another. Here, I took butter and cream and meat and eggs and I made delicious sustenance. ↗

— Julie Powell

#humor #humor

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.” “You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected. “No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.” A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ↗

— Julie James

#fbi #funny #humor #julie-james #men

I USED TO make love. Now I Make coffee. ↗

— Chocolate Waters

#humor #poetry #sex #humor

Colin: "1 dinna understand why we canna just go to bed and have sex." He looked truly puzzled. ↗

— Nina Bangs

#men #sex #women #humor

Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and, therefore, the foundation of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#imagination #innovation #invention #experience

Sometimes you think you've found love, when it's really just one of those objects that are shiny in a certain light--a trophy, say, or a ring, or a diamond, even. Glass shards, maybe. You've got to be careful, you do. The shine can blind you. The edges can cut you in way you never imagined. It is up to you to allow that or not. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#cut #diamond #found #glass #love