#funerals

Do you really think anyone needs some kind of notarized statement saying 'Dear Saint Peter, here's another stiff, pass him through the gates, signed, Father McGonnigill.'...'PS: He once had a hot dog on a Friday, but don't hold that against him.' ↗

— P. N. Elrod

#funerals #lady-crymsyn #religion-philosophy #vampire-files #death

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. ↗

— Garrison Keillor

#days #few #funerals #going #i

Death is a personal matter, arousing sorrow, despair, fervor, or dry-hearted philosophy. Funerals, on the other hand, are social functions. Imagine going to a funeral without first polishing the automobile. Imagine standing at a graveside not dressed in your best dark suit and your best black shoes, polished delightfully. Imagine sending flowers to a funeral with no attached card to prove you had done the correct thing. In no social institution is the codified ritual of behavior more rigid than in funerals. Imagine the indignation if the minister altered his sermon or experimented with facial expression. Consider the shock if, at the funeral parlors, any chairs were used but those little folding yellow torture chairs with the hard seats. No, dying, a man may be loved, hated, mourned, missed; but once dead he becomes the chief ornament of a complicated and formal social celebration. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#funerals #rituals #social-functions #death

I've been at the funerals of a lot of people in my neighborhood. Sometimes when I sit back and relax, I think about that and just blank out. ↗

— Carmelo Anthony

#back #been #blank #funerals #i

Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends. ↗

— Mason Cooley

#asleep #during #fall #friends #funerals

I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal. ↗

— Hedy Lamarr

#breathes #dead #funerals #go #i

I'm more interested in the meaning of funerals and the mourning that people do. It's not a retail experience. It's an existential one. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#experience #funerals #i #interested #meaning

I was one those kids who had books on them. Before weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals and anything else where you're actually meant to not be reading, my family would frisk me and take the book away. If they didn't find it by this point in the procedure, I would be sitting over in that corner completely unnoticed just reading my book. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#anything #away #bar #before #book