#funny

I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#meatloaf #funny

She smiled smugly. “We came to an agreement, the duck and I. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

(...) And who cares if you flash people your underwear, as long as you're kicking the crap out of them?" Lynn goes silent, like she recognizes that as a spark of brilliance but can't bring herself to admit it. "What's this about underwear?" Says Uriah, sidestepping a bunk. "Whatever it is, I'm in. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#insurgent #underwear #uriah #veronica-roth #funny

That's the funny thing, she thought. You always want things to get better, but you never know how good you already have it. ↗

— Scott Speer

#maddy #funny

I want to take all the pain of humanity, ball it up into a compressed, black 16-pound sphere, add three holes in a triangular formation to it, and use it to bowl a strike. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humanity #pain #funny

He gives me a look that says, “Dude, if I knew that do you think I’d have enlisted your puny help?” I snicker. “Something funny here.” “You. All prickly and pissed ’cause there’s something you don’t know. Got to call on the megaservices of the Mega.” “Ever occur to you I’m using you for reasons your inferior human brain can’t begin to understand. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#ryodan #funny

This is an Aston Martin, Gin.You don't run over dead bodies in an Aston Matin." "Tell that to James Bond ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#comeback #funny #james-bond #web-of-lies #funny

When in doubt dance out ↗

— Miley Cyrus

#funny

You said you'd give me half an hour!' 'And you said you'd satisfy me whenever I wanted it. I want it now.' He removed is jacket. 'Drop the towel.' 'I-I never agreed to be naked! ↗

— Kresley Cole

#naked #towel #funny

I will make thee think thy swan a crow. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#funny