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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny
Mew - mew. Mew.” I jump back from her finger swipes. “I am fluent in pussy, but I have no idea what this fucking means, Georgia. ↗
When people visit my farm they often envision their dog, finally off-leash in acres of safely fenced countryside, running like Lassie in a television show, leaping over fallen tree trunks, shiny-eyed with joy at the change to run free in the country. While they're imagining that heartwarming scene, their dog is most likely gobbling up sheep poop as fast as he can. Dog aren't people, and if they have their own image of heaven, it most likely involves poop. ↗
Jackie had now changed her tune, clinging to me as if she liked it. “I’m irresistible, brother, he’s swapping sides for me.” “I can’t fight it any longer,” I said, nonchalantly. Wade shook his head at us. “I’ll be sure to pass this news along to your husband, sis.” “He can have the kids,” Jackie said, causing everyone to chuckle. “We insist,” I tossed in. ↗
Ella let out a squeal when I picked her up, “Jonathan!” I loved carrying her around in my arms. After all, modern man is just an illusion, we’re all still cavemen. We just wear better clothes now. ↗
I pull my cigarette from my mouth and take a look around, meeting the eyes of my friends carefully,so they'll know how serious I am right now. First person to laugh gets punched.“I'm in love. ↗
