#funny

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath To say to me that thou art out of breath? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#restlessness #art

I pull my cigarette from my mouth and take a look around, meeting the eyes of my friends carefully,so they'll know how serious I am right now. First person to laugh gets punched.“I'm in love. ↗

— C.M. Stunich

#kinda-funny #love

A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend saving your marriage in a Tupperware container. That way it’ll stay fresher for longer.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I have a funny name. ↗

— Pia Zadora

#i #name

Innovation Big pain, no shame being same-to-same ↗

— Praveen Kumar

#humour #inspirational #motivational #funny

And I like a good horror story as much as the next person so long as they kill off some men too and not just girls. But the voices Joan heard were real. There’s clear and substantiated proof they were real. She won battles that would otherwise have been lost because of what those voices told her in advance of them allowing the French generals to strategize in ways completely different than they did before Joan came along. People’s lives were saved because of what those voices told her. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#funny #funny

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account... ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#bank-account #depression #funny #humorous #inspiration

Einstein's greatest influence was that he continues to inspire so many people to become synonyms for something. Genius is already taken, but a lot of other places and things still need patronymics. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #genius #humor #synonyms #inspirational

What are you giving him?" Nicola Vileroy tilted her head... " Something to mesmerize and delight him. Something absolutely ethereal that would capture his imagination and not let go. " "Ooh, Nintendo, how lovely! ↗

— Daniel Nayeri

#nintendo #imagination

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies. ↗

— Nigella Lawson

#also #areas #been #dies #funny