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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder. ↗


— Bauvard


#funny #love #wife #equality

The value of me is equal to 5097033198, but also 3051982. The first is my phone number, and the second is my birthday. I assign values to people. My fifth grade bus driver had a Cheeto factor of four. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #phone-number #value #equality

Max, you're acting like a child, the Voice said. You're above rebelling against your fate just to rebel. You've got a date with destiny. Don't be late." I brushed some hair out of my eyes. Is that a movie quote? Or is it an actual date? I don't remember destiny asking me. I never even gave destiny my phone number. ↗


— James Patterson


#max #dating

You guys dated, didn’t you?” “Are you insane? Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful. ↗


— Rachel Morgan


#faerie-guardian #funny #dating

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. ↗


— Melanie Griffith


#love #romance #funny

Snufflers are afraid to experience the abundant possibilities of air, its hidden flurries of ferment. The denial of life is strong in the nose-breather. ↗


— Benson Bruno


#funny #nose #experience

Can I buy you an ice cream beforeI take you home? I feel like it’s the least I can do after scaring your shirt off. ↗


— Tamara Summers


#dating

I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened in a while, so I was a good friend and put my own needs second to the possibility of him actual sex with a real girl. ↗


— Molly Harper


#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #sex #zeb

i like it because it is so funny and harry is so rude and but sometime he ca be nice to people. ↗


— Suzy Kline


#funny

Snake pulled out the digital camera and decided to play a joke on Otacon. He snapped a picture of the pinup, muttered, "Good," and closed the door. ↗


— Raymond Benson


#otacon #picture #pinup #snake #funny






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