#ge

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger. ↗

— David Letterman

#good #having #importance #next #pull

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. ↗

— David Letterman

#gentlemen #great #i #into #jokes

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger. ↗

— David Letterman

#bush #course #president #president bush #pronounce

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. ↗

— David Letterman

#approval #become #bush #does #either

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. ↗

— David Letterman

#because #carts #changed #confused #dog

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. ↗

— David Letterman

#bush #george #george w #giving #house

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#comes #cross #double #man #politician

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#geniuses #humility #left #more #needs

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#every #every time #fierce #get #i

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother. ↗

— Sam Levenson

#after #brother #girl #her #how