#ge

She was so young how could she understand… Exactly how young was she Matthew’s mouth went dry. “Dearest how old are you ” “Almost twenty.” Damnation. He was a bloody cradle robber. ↗

— Lydia Dare

#robber #underage #humor

What are you going to do? "Can't say - run for president, write -" "Greenwich Village?" "Good heavens, no - I said write - not drink. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#humor #writing #humor

JACK That is nonsense. If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won't want to know Bunbury. ALGERNON Then your wife will. You don't seem to realize, that in married life three is company and two is none. JACK That, my dear young friend, is the theory that the corrupt French Drama has been propounding for the last fifty years. ALGERNON Yes; and that the happy English home has proved in half the time. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #marriage #humor

Advising Mrs. Harris was the least I could do," David said smoothly. "After all, she was the one who brought me and my late wife together." That was stretching it a bit, since all Charlotte had done was give Sarah lessons in how to avoid fortune hunters, thus ensuring that the recalcitrant girl went right out and married the first one who approached her. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#marriage #romance #humor

I have to be a ginger for 3 weeks. ↗

— Katy Perry

#hair #humor #humor

Normal.... What the majority of people look, act, and talk and like. So what if the majority became what we see as wierd now? Would our normal, become our new wierd? ↗

— Catherine

#humor #normality #people #popularity #strangeness

Librarians are notorious snitches—don’t let anybody convince you otherwise. ↗

— Tom Upton

#teen #teenager #young-adult #humor

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#husband #marriage #toads #wife #humor

This was fun. We should find out we're still married more often." "Why, so every day can be a special new plunge into hell?" "Nobody I'd rather burn with than you, babe. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#hell #humor #marriage #humor

I'm an open book. But some of the pages are stuck together. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#humor #open-book #pages #humor