#guide

The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. They are so much brighter that they soon realised that the most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendants not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships or being patronized rigid by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it. So they long ago plumped for a lifestyle that, in return for a certain amount of porterage and being prodded with sticks, allowed them adequate food and grooming and the chance to spit in a human's eye and get away with it. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#dolphins #hitchhiker-s-guide-to-the-galaxy #humor #pratchett #pyramids

Hooking on scuba gear and blindly diving into zombie-infested water is a wonderful way to mix the two childhood terrors of being eaten and drowning. ↗

— Max Brooks

#the-zombie-survival-guide #zombies

So it’s fate then?” I asked with him so close my lips brushed the line of his jaw with each word, “Us being together?” “Absolutely,” Calvin said with a low growl. Then he lifted my chin, tilting my head back, and kissed me deeply. Who was I to argue with Fate? ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#paranormal-romance #romance #she-smells-the-dead #spirit-guide-series #supernatural

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST! And that thought just cracked me up.] It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#dark-humor #funny #irony #misguided-protest #protest

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#drinking #humor #humor

If we listen to and follow the promptings of the Spirit, they will serve as a Liahona, guiding us through the unknown, challenging valleys and mountains that are ahead (see 1 Nephi 16). ↗

— Dieter F. Uchtdorf

#guideline-in-life #inspirational #inspirational

The Bible, as a revelation from God, was not designed to give us all the information we might desire, nor to solve all the questions about which the human soul is perplexed, but to impart enough to be a safe guide to the haven of eternal rest. ↗

— Albert Barnes

#bible #designed #desire #enough #eternal

If we would guide by the light of reason we must let our minds be bold. ↗

— Louis D. Brandeis

#guide #light #minds #must #our

I'll walk where my own nature would be leading: It vexes me to choose another guide. ↗

— Emily Bronte

#choose #guide #i #leading #me

Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live. ↗

— Robert Kennedy

#guide #live #living #tool #tragedy