#h

Dude. Hot Bozo. Best nickname ever. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#cynthia-hand #funny #unearthly #funny

Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #funny #humor #number-one #urinal-cake

I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

You'll blow up a helicopter, but you won't go out with me? What is wrong with you? ↗

— Meg Cabot

#funny #jess-mastriani #relationships #rob-wilkins #when-lightning-strikes

Funny how we take it for granted that we know all there is to know about another person, just because we see them frequently or because of some strong emotional tie. ↗

— Robert Bloch

#funny

Meanwhile, politics is about getting a candidate in front of the public as a star, politics as rock'n'roll, politics as a movie. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#candidate #front #getting #meanwhile #movie

I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chicken #funny #family

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #good-omens #humour #neil-gaiman #terry-prachett

Art and life are subjective. Not everybody's gonna dig what I dig, but I reserve the right to dig it. ↗

— Whoopi Goldberg

#choice #life #perspective #taste #art

Yet the ivory gods, And the ebony gods, And the gods of diamond-jade, Are only silly puppet gods That people themselves Have made.- ↗

— Langston Hughes

#free-thought #philosophy #religion #art