#h

Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up. ↗

— Wendy Cope

#bloody #christmas #cup #earth #goodwill

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#dreamt #gone #i #last #last night

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#back #bad #bad back #doctor #got

I don't want to expose the intricacies of my work so people can understand how I did it. ↗

— Billy Crudup

#expose #how #i #people #understand

I don't want to get in a big, long discussion about right and wrong, but our company has been working on the issue of underage drinking and alcohol abuse for a long time. I've been outspoken about it. ↗

— Pete Coors

#abuse #alcohol #been #big #company

I'm going to become the best-remembered artist of my generation by staying away from the party as often as possible. That way, people will remember me, not because I was great, but because I didn't cause them any later embarrassment. ↗

— Julian Cope

#artist #away #because #become #cause

I think it's a question which particularly arises over women writers: whether it's better to have a happy life or a good supply of tragic plots. ↗

— Wendy Cope

#better #good #happy #happy life #i

In a film score, the last thing you want to do is take people out of the movie. The music is secondary. In opera, the music is the main event. ↗

— Stewart Copeland

#film #last #main #movie #music

Making music has gotten easier; selling it has gotten harder. Making music has been democratized, but the market is in the hands of fascists. ↗

— Stewart Copeland

#easier #fascists #gotten #hands #harder

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ↗

— Ronnie Corbett

#anyone #ever #faster #going #idiot