#harper

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #pinata #questions

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #ocd #funny

Manfred,” I began, exasperated, “I just don’t know what to do with you.” “I have some very good ideas,” he said. He waggled his eyebrows. He was making it funny, but he was serious. I never doubted that at my slightest response, Manfred would be booking us into the nearest hotel as fast as he could whip out his wallet. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#manfred #funny

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#hannah-harrington #harper-scott #humour #jake-tolan #sarcasm

It was hard to hear him, but she turned around, and when she faced him again he was smiling broadly. He pulled his glove off and held up three fingers, then kissed his palm and pressed it to the glass. She pressed her hand against his, and said, “Good luck.” Shea skated off with a nod. “Oh. My. God. Y’all disgust me. That was straight out of some sappy love story,” Harper complained. ↗

— Toni Aleo

#harper-allen #shea-adler #love

And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen." "Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #missy #molly-harper #mud

I'm not going to do the Ben Harper house record or the Ben Harper drum 'n' bass record. ↗

— Ben Harper

#ben #drum #going #harper #house

Well rounded forms gives smooth sounds; sharper or angular forms give harder and harsher sounds. ↗

— Norman McLaren

#forms #give #gives #harder #rounded

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child! ↗

— William Shakespeare

#how #serpent #sharper #than #thankless

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--" I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #librarians #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs