#harry

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #religion #humor

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor

I'm dying!" Malfoy yelled, as the class panicked. "I'm dying, look at me! It's killed me! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #humor

I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#ferro #harry-dresden #humor #sarcasm #humor

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike." Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on." Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?" It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some." Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #funny

She should've interviewed Snape," said Harry grimly. "He'd give her the goods on me any day. "Potter has been crossing lines ever since he first arrived at this school... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #newspaper #rita-skeeter #snape #humor

I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ass. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor