#he

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#because #difficult #discipline #may #parents

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#adult #deal #drink #fat #great

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#assassinate #brief #character #death #election

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#about #any #bright #catastrophe #feeling

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#champagne #enjoy #having #host #over

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#ashore #attack #because #bill #bill clinton

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#anything #behavior #done #experience #feel

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#chief #convertible #devices #increase #mechanical

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#came #children #going #growing #growing up

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#eat #exception #humans #like #only