#hee

Burn you, Nerim, that's a leg not a bloody side of beef!' 'As my lord says,' Nerim murmured. 'My lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my lord, for instructing me. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#humor #jordan #mat #nerim #rand

Obviously it takes eight brains to come to one decision in this crowd. Good thing they have one another. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#humor #humor

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

People will ask you the question 'how is life treating you?' But my question is 'how are you treating life?' On that your happiness rests ↗

— Rasheed Ogunlaru

#flow #happiness #happyness #inner-peace #questioning

There's a boy who they call Pony! He's always acting gross and horny! He thinks he's got a lot down there, but he sure wears tiny underwear! ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#humor

While Coach Hedge was having dinner on the foredeck, a wild pegasus appeared from nowhere,stampeded over the coach’s enchiladas, and flew off again, leaving cheesy hoof prints all across the deck. “What was that for?” the coach demanded. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#coach #humor #pegasus #humor

Stand your ground!" Stheno yelled. "I've got free samples! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#euryale #gorgon #heroes-of-olympus #humor #medusa

The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything. "Need a poo, Todd." "Shut up, Manchee." "Poo. Poo, Todd." "I said shut it. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#knife-of-never-letting-go #manchee #todd #humor

Pacifists are like sheep who believe that wolves are vegetarians. ↗

— Yves Montand

#like #pacifists #sheep #vegetarians #who

When life gives you lemons, make assless chaps. ↗

— Angie West

#lemons #life