#hell

Somebody who is Christ's must love Christ, and when he loves Christ he is delivered from the Devil, from hell and from death. ↗

— Elder Porphyrios

#christian #christianity #death #devil #friendship

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell. ↗

— Criss Jami

#funny-but-true #hell #humor #introversion #introvert

You could duct tape my mouth shut, and I'd still talk too much. I talk with my hands, so you have to listen hard to hear me. You'll hear my flattering words when you see me clap. Hello and goodbye are the same word, in the language of the hand. When I talk with my hands, I might be agreeable and say "Ok." Or I might be calling you an asshole. But let's face it, I am agreeable, and you are an asshole. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#goodbye #hello #language #funny

I'm going to take a wild guess here and say the hard-on you've been sporting all afternoon is not on account of Mr. Nicholson continually bending over to pick up the golf balls, right?" "For fuck's sake, Dad!" James cursed, looking horrified at his father, who just shrugged his shoulders at his son's shocked expression. "Whaaat? Just making sure," he added, hardly hiding his amusement. ↗

— Elle Aycart

#raises-eyebrows #funny

If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know. " Simon never had much patience with Jace. "Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I'll send you a photo. " "And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand, " said Jace sarcastically. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us." Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows." Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl...or if she's a very good girl? ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#men #funny

Does it have a name? All of these fancy magical weapons usually have names." Bishop glared at her. "Yeah. I like to call it Goldie." "You're funny for an angel." "Not really. I'm just inspired at the moment. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#dark-kiss #michelle-rowen #funny

Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-as-hell #funny-quotes #humor #food

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! ↗

— April Henry

#character-quote #funny-as-hell #gun-point #humor #funny

Amber laughed. "What makes you think I'd marry you?" "What makes you think you'd have a choice?" "I'm not into bad guys," she said. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #inspirational #romance #humor