#her

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#dylan #funk-soul-brother #humor #humour #moran

The tyranny of public opinion (and what an opinion!) is as fatuous in the small towns of France as it is in the United States of America. ↗

— Stendhal

#humor #mob-mentality #peer-pressure #humor

How delightful! Dunford had just come into an unexpected inheritance. She rather hoped it was something good. One of her friends had just unwillingly inherited thirty-seven cats. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#inheritance #humor

I'm a mother," said her mother, in her foodless flat where the dust did not dare to settle, "and I know what I know. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#mothers #humor

Змейк умел приближать свой предмет через непосредственное сравнение с учениками и проведение прямых параллелей. «А вы плавитесь при гораздо меньших температурах», — говорил он спокойно, и Афарви с Двинвен, болтавшие на задней парте, вздрагивали, перехватывали пронзительный взгляд черных глаз Змейка и начинали слушать очень внимательно. ↗

— Анна Коростелева

#humor #school #study #teacher #humor

George Harrison: The day after the Blue Angel audition, John showed up to rehearsal with a long list of name suggestions, and I remember each and every one of them: the Deads-men, the Deadmen, the Undeads-men, the Undeadmen, the Rots, the Rotters, the Dirts, the Dirty Ones, the Grayboys, the Eaten Brains, the Eating Brains, the Mersey Beaters, the Mersey Beaten, the Bloodless, the Graves, the Headstones, and the Liverpools of Blood. Paul ripped off John's right arm and used it to slap John across the face, then he said, "Those're horrible, mate, just horrible, y'know. ↗

— Alan Goldsher

#beatles #humor #paul-is-undead #humor

...there is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, "You are a poo. ↗

— Caitlin Moran

#motherhood #humor

Trains are great dirty smoky things," said Will. "You won't like it." Tessa was unmoved. "I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?" "I've never swam naked in the Thames, but I know I wouldn't like it. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

You either trust me or you don't. I've never let you down, and I won't walk away unless you make me. Period. Now, unless you have a real emergency, I'd like to get back to my vacation. And my corpse, thanks. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat-crawfield #catherine-crawfield #funny #humor #jeaniene-frost

For I am in love. For the first time in my life, utterly and completely, I have fallen in love, and I can not believe it myself. ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#the-boleyn-inheritance #life