#hi

Actually, I wouldn't mind a Malibu and coke." "You're having a fucking pint." "Is my choice of drink too gay for you?" "Malibu and coke is a pussy drink. Last I heard you were strictly anti-pussy. ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#hilariousness #non-p-c #funny

Growing up, Renaldo and his father had a great relationship. At least until his father went and slept with someone else. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #growing-up #humor #relationship #funny

The perfect vehicle to take to the moon would be a two-door Saturn with a sunroof. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #moon #saturn #sunroof #vehicle

Stand out from the crowd, be yourself. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#cosmic-ordering #law-of-attraction #mind-body-spirit #mind-power #money

Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan ↗

— Margaret Thatcher

#ethics

Quite a lot is a large amount but quite a few is also a large amount. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

They say to think within the box, but it's funny how those in the box never go anywhere, where those outside it, get to see the world. ↗

— Anthony Liccione

#horizon #limitations #outside-the-box #see-the-world #stuck

Your mom is so old, she might die soon ↗

— A really great comedian

#i-think-i-died-when-i-read-that #jokes #funny

Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. ↗

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#approval #black-humor #disapproval #dishonesty #funny

One Direction is the main thing I'm doing and I'm 100 per cent dedicated to the group. ↗

— Zayn Malik

#dedicated #direction #doing #group #i