#hum

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humour #libba-bray #beauty

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

How can you ask me when i want to get married when you have yet to ask me if i will marry you? ↗

— Rochelle Alers

#humor #humor

A true history of human events would show that a far larger proportion of our acts are the result of sudden impulse and accident than of that reason of which we so much boast. ↗

— Peter Cooper

#acts #boast #events #far #history

I robbed them, and I killed them as cold as ice, and I would do it again, and I know I would kill another person because I've hated humans for a long time. ↗

— Aileen Wuornos

#another #because #cold #hated #humans

Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. ↗

— Doug Coupland

#brain #eighty #everything #face #face value

An abundant supply of excellent water, forming a volume equal in bulk to the human body, is conveyed by one of these pipes, and distributed about the city, where it is used by the inhabitants for drink and other purposes. ↗

— Hernando Cortes

#abundant #body #bulk #city #conveyed

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#allow #back #beings #children #come

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#because #funny #future #god #hope

I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ambitious #delusional #funny #hard-work #humor