#hum

As the van door starts to close, Brad suddenly realizes that the instant the doors close completely, the van interior will become the terrifying bland gray space he's heard about all his life, the place one goes when one has been Written Out. The van interior becomes the bland gray space. From the front yard TV comes the brash martial music that indicates UrgentUpdateNewsMinute. Animal rights activists have expressed concern over the recent trend of spraying live Canadian geese with a styrene coating which instantaneously kills them while leaving them extremely malleable, so it then becomes easy to shape them into comical positions and write funny sayings in DryErase cartoon balloons emanating from their beaks, which, apparently, is the new trend for outdoor summer parties. ↗

— George Saunders

#music

A brick could be used as a musical instrument. It doesn’t matter how bad it sounds, because I’ll be the band’s lead singer, and my sexy voice is like melted butter on a corn on the cob lodged directly into your anus. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I am a music snob, and proud of it. I'm a New Yorker; smugness is my birthright. ↗

— J.J. Howard

#music #new-york #music

My air guitar just arrived by airmail! ↗

— Stuart Blythe

#guitar #humor #humourur #music #music

Poets sing our human music for us. ↗

— Carol Ann Duffy

#poet-laureate #poetry #poets #song #music

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away. ↗

— Dana Reston

#danger #fear #human-nature #humour #nature

She now represents the Western United States, thus proving politics is even more accepting of the strange, unusual, and mostly useless than the music industry. ↗

— John Zakour

#humour #politics #music

(Maggie)I opened my senses as I made my way stealthily down the hall. Truly all that was missing was Mission Impossible theme music, but if I was being honest, it was playing in my head anyway. ↗

— Shelly Crane

#maggie #music

Strauss! Oh yes, he was so-so. He wrote pretty music- The Blue Danube and Tales from the Vienna Woods. But what is that compared to Mozart?' Suddenly, Bess and George spotted Nancy coming towards them. 'Nancy!' the cousins chimed simultaneously and raced toward her. 'I see our bus driver is still at it.' Nancy grinned. 'All the way from Salzburg." George groaned. 'Did he run off the road again?' 'Not once but many times,' Bess said. 'It was awful. Once he got so angry because someone compared Beethoven to Mozart that he actually stopped the bus, ran outside, and shouted into the valley, Beethoven is a bore. Mozart is sublime. Over and over. The professor had to go out and drag him back to the bus. ↗

— Carolyn Keene

#humor #mozart #nancy-drew #music

I think a cool band name would be War Dwarf. Of course, I’m entirely too tall and peaceful to be a member. Not to mention nonmusical.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#band-name #funny #height #humor #life