#hum

Please welcome Professor Varen Nethers, famous depressed dead poets historian and author of the bestselling books Unlocking your Poe-tential: A writer's Guide, and Mo Poe Fo Yo: When You Just Can't Get Enough. ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#humor

She was not sorry. And if it was the wine telling her that, then she would tell the wine the same thing tomorrow. She was not sorry. ↗

— Mary Balogh

#mary-balogh #romance #slightly #wicked #humor

Anthony looked down at his evil clutches -- hands, he reminded himself, hands -- and grinned anew. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

There is a crucifix, a few cloves of garlic, a wooden stake, a hammer, a blob of Silly Putty, and a pocketknife. “You do realize these people aren’t vampires, right?” I say when Sam walks back in. “Yeah, but you never know. They’re probably crazy, like you said.” “And even if we were hunting vampires, what the hell is the Silly Putty for?” He shrugs. “Just want to be prepared. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

Hey!” I said, indignation filling me. “I’m immortal! Doesn’t that mean I won’t get saggy boobs and gray hair? Because if it doesn’t mean that, I want a refund— ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#romance #humor

If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#politics #humor

It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well. ↗

— Brian Regan

#humor

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Tohru: "Call a doctor, or a vet, or something! Mr. Postman! It's terrible! You see?! They're animals!" Mailman: "Well, uh, yes, they certainly are. Here's your mail." Tohru: "No, no, we've got to do something!" (Shigure in dog form grabs the letter.) Mailman: "I wish my dog was as smart. Good day! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #tohru #tohru-honda

She seemed to be a nice person, too, instead of a homicidal bitch like his former wife. Otherwise, the world should fear. When Mencheres fell for a woman, he fell hard. If Kira asked for her own continent as a birthday present, Mencheres would probably have one conquered for her before she blew out her candles. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor