#hum

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not. ↗

— Hilaire Belloc

#force #gun #humor #might_makes_right #technology

You think Tide is better, or All?' 'Which has a prettier box?' I ask. 'I don't want a pretty box. I want a dude box.' Uh-huh,' I deadpan. 'You want a dude box of laundry detergent.' 'Yes, I do.' 'Good luck with that. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #laundry-detergent #humor

...фантазия расстроенной женщины шире возможностей бога ↗

— Слава Сэ

#humor

You can lead a horse to water, but they might prefer wiskey ↗

— Jeri Estes

#humor

The quickest way to the top, is getting off your bottom ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #wisdom #humor

I don't hate you, you're just the most annoying person in my life. ↗

— Rebecca Sparrow

#humor

I'm a Waitress. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#sookie-stackhouse #humor

I may not always walk the straight and narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can. ↗

— J. Golden Kimball

#religion #humor

Most advances in technology occur because they’re either trying to impress women or blow things up. It’s as predictable as the sunrise. ↗

— Elizabeth Hunter

#humor

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#cowardice #humor #humor