#hum

I opened my mouth to respond, then decided to do that thing where you think before you speak. ↗

— Jessi Kirby

#humor

I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping. ↗

— Victoria Dahl

#romance #humor

They didn't just live with secrets. Secrecy surrounded their entire lives. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#secrets #humor

I don’t care what other people think about me. Most people are idiots, and they can think whatever they want. ↗

— Ida Løkås

#humor #idiots #people #think #humor

Dad followed his I’m-So-Disappointed speech with a lecture on career opportunities. “You’re going to study literature and get a job doing what?” he said. “Literaturizing? ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

I want my life to be about LIVING, not leaving --which is why I'm LEAVING nothing behind. ↗

— Shelley K Wall

#living #living-life-to-the-fullest #humor

And it's not my fault that I have a penchant for good breeding, reasonable intelligence, and passable personal hygiene, not necessarily in that order. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#humor

Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor

Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage. ↗

— Daniel Gilbert

#humor

Sebastian it is. You can tell me what a patron saint is later, since I have no knowledge of such things. Sebastian Kane. "Sebastian Kane Cannon. You're going to marry me and use my last name, right?" "Is that supposed to be a proposal? ↗

— Christine Feehan

#children #humor #marriage-proposal #humor