#hum

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #lara-raith #humor

But there is in everything a reasonable division of labour. I have written the book, and nothing on earth would induce me to read it. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #literary-criticism #humor

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Principal Principal: Where's your late pass, mister? Errant Student: I'm on my way to get one now. PP: But you can't be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I'm so upset. That's why I need to hurry, so I can get a pass. Principal Principal pauses with a look on his face like Daffy Duck's when Bugs is pulling a fast one. PP: Well, hurry up, then, and get that pass. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#school #humor

One glance and I knew exactly who and what he was. The classic alpha male, the kind who had spurred evolution forward about five million years ago by nailing every female in sight. They charmed, seduced, and behaved like bastards, and yet women were biologically incapable of resisting their magic DNA. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#romance #humor

Tarzan-like men are my weakness, apparently. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#kelsey-about-ren-and-kishan #humor

Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing 'Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' t-shirts: Doesn't it depend on what my goals are? ↗

— John Green

#humor #teens #twitter #humor

A Dauntless Ferris wheel wouldn’t have cars. You would just hang on tight with your hands, and good luck to you. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#humor

Yes...and I'm worried that if you get into the habit of making out with your instructors, you'll wind up making out with him too." "Don't be sexist. They could find me a female instructor." "In that case, you have my permission to make out with her as long as I can watch. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-and-jace #humor #mrotal-instruments #romantic #humor