#hum

He was obviously on the wrong side of crazy. ↗

— Heather Webber

#humor #humor

Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#animals #death #euthanasia #human-rights #death

Do I look like I want to be eaten alive after sex? ↗

— Nalini Singh

#power #sex #humor

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with. ↗

— Candace Bushnell

#humor #relationships #soulmates #dating

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #relationships #vampire #dating

Have you dared to eat my son?" I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter. ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#death

Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#percy-weasley #death

Ah,” said Magnus. “Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing, while also being an object of mockery and hilarity for those of us who are more sophisticated. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #beauty

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you ↗

— Greg Behrendt

#greg-behrendt #he-s-not-just-into-you #humor #humour #love

Pulling the chair out for me, he invited me to sit. I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes, I'd never make it. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "I know what you're thinking, and I'm not going to let you escape again. You can either take a seat and have dinner with me like a normal date," he grinned at his word choice, "or," he paused thoughtfully then threatened, "you can sit on my lap while I force-feed you. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#kelsey #love #ren #dating