#hum

Normal" is just a setting on your dryer. ↗

— Patsy Clairmont

#humor #funny

When the gap between the rich and the poor is so huge that you can’t help pointing it out – that’s when you risk being labeled a pervert. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #inequality #perversion #funny

He would have shaved the centaurs, dipped them in honey, covered them with feathers, and hung them up like a bunch of pinatas. I'm just saying." - Warren ↗

— Brandon Mull

#centaurs #funny #humor #patton #warren

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers. ↗

— David Sedaris

#funny

You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sleep #funny

You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity. ↗

— Criss Jami

#cute #difficulties #disobedience #evidence #funny

Katsa turned to Po with tears in her eyes. 'He'll be so angry.' 'He won't stay angry forever.' 'Won't he?' she said. 'People do sometimes.' 'Do they?' he said. 'Reasonable people? I hope that's not true.' Katsa gave him a funny look, but didn't answer. Resumed hugging herself and kicking things. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#funny

The nice thing about being an empty-headed pessimist is that that your glass is only half air. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #pessimism #funny

My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life. ↗

— Maria Semple

#fiction #funny #humor #funny

Emergency Valve Regulators," she repeated. "So you do know what your doing? "Not really," he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #humour #wires #funny