#hum

A minute later he (Brady) collapsed next to me. "What do you say to the person who gave you the best orgasm of your life?" "Thank you, Keanu (Reeves)? ↗

— Michele Bardsley

#humor

Whether a man is a criminal or a public servant is purely a matter of perspective. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#ethics #humor #relativism #humor

Watch over Honoria, will you? See that she doesn’t marry an idiot. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#friends #humor #love #humor

either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z ↗

— Jay-Z

#humor

Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a month saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire". ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#humor

I'm Teoish," Sarene said, successfully spearing something that looked like a marinated piece of shrimp. "We're all this tall." "Father's Teoish too, Kaise," Daorn said. "And you know how tall he is." "But father's fat," Kaise pointed out. "Why aren't you fat too, Sarene? ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

I grew up once, I decided never to do it again ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humor #life #philosophy #humor

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off. ↗

— Steve Kluger

#self-consciousness #witty #humor

Raoden turned to regard the large Dula. "What does it matter? It's not like we have anything pressing to do. It's actually quite pleasant up here—you should just sit back and enjoy it." An ominous crash came from the clouds above them, and Raoden felt a wet drop splat against his head. "Fantastic," Galladon grumbled. "I'm enjoying myself already. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

And what is better than wisedoom (wisdom)? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing From Canterbury Tales ↗

— Geoffrey Chaucer

#humor