#hum

Who're you supposed to be, Creflo Dollar's Mini-Me? ↗

— Beverly Jenkins

#humor

A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you up about three inches.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

When the mind is free, magic happens. ↗

— C.G. Rousing

#humor #law-of-attraction #new-adult #new-thought #paranormal

Oh you've redecorated! I don't like it. ↗

— Doctor Who

#doctor-who #eleventh-doctor #humor #matt-smith #sci-fi

You know, just sit in the corner and glare at him the whole time. See if he crumbles.” “I’ve seen your hard-ass face, Tuck,” Charlie said. “Mostly, you just look constipated. Ford, you’d better do the glaring. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #humor

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker ↗

— Darynda Jones

#life-lessons #humor

I don't do relationships because I don't want to love and lose myself. ↗

— J.C. Reed

#love #relationship #romance #surrender-your-love #humor

There was something in his gaze that told her he liked how she looked in his clothes. It had to be a bloke thing, because she certainly wouldn't want to see him wearing hers. ↗

— Kady Cross

#kady-cross #the-girl-in-the-clockwork-collar #humor

By the Angel, this place is barely better than a penny gaff,” Gideon said. “Gabriel, don’t look at anything unless I tell you it’s all right. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humorous #humor

Can I have my ear back?" He asked irritably. She blinked. "Mother, can you tell this creature here to loosen her hold? ↗

— Anya Wylde

#humor