Choose language

Forgot your password?

Need a Spoofbox account? Create one for FREE!

No subscription or hidden extras

Login

#hum

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum




I don't think," he said, "that a vicar is supposed to beat a bishop to death, or even back to death." Mr. Berkeley looked down upon the remains of Bishop Bernard. "If anyone asks, we'll say he fell over," he said. "Lots of times. ↗


— John Connolly


#death

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems ↗


— Matt Groening


#drinking #homer #humor #humor

Your friend Mikey knew what my touch could do, but he didn’t tell me. He turned me into a murderer. Worse than a murderer.” “I think,” said Nick, “they call that manslaughter or wrongful death, don’t they? I mean, when it’s an accident or out of ignorance, or something.” Clarence turned to Nick, studying him with his Everlost eye. “You’re a lot smarter than you were back in the cage,” Clarence said. “You look better too. Back then you were a thing, now you’re almost a person.” “Thanks . . . but ‘almost’ is still ‘almost.’” “Yeah, well, we’re all almost something. ↗


— Neal Shusterman


#death

You cannot be buried in obscurity: you are exposed upon a grand theater to the view of the world. If your actions are upright and benevolent, be assured they will augment your power and happiness. ↗


— Cyrus the Great


#happiness #humor #life #love #philosophy

Does speed dating necessarily end up in a quickie divorce....? ↗


— Josh Stern


#divorce-humor #speed #speed-dating-quickie #dating

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Drew grabbed a fistful of her ridiculous blond wig and tugged. Some of her hair came with it and he felt a moment of satisfaction when she howled. Bianca’s real hair was a matted mess against her head. He looked at the wig in his hand and moved his gaze to the water fountain. Bianca’s eyes widened. “Don’t do it. Don’t you dare.” “Don’t do what? Don’t do this?” He dangled the wig above the fountain. She raised her hands and crept toward him. “Just give it back, Drew, and we’ll be even. Okay?” “Aaawww, is Bianca getting worried? Poor baby.” “Come on.” “Say you’re sorry.” He shook it up and down. “What? No way.” With a shrug, he tossed the wig into the water fountain. ↗


— Lindy Zart


#humor #romance #dating

Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are ↗


— Josh Stern


#date #figs #humor #moronic #rape

If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith ↗


— Josh Stern


#faith #humor #pretty #renounce #second-date

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. ↗


— David Sedaris


#religion #dating

So, the date was on. I’d tell Zayvion I had a chaperone. Maybe he could help me figure it out. ↗


— Devon Monk


#dating






back to top